Apparently Tabitha IS smart!

When not shoving her face into paper bags, climbing into cardboard boxes or licking plastic bags, Tabitha is apparently a genius at tricking Piper. Last night, Matt watched as Tabitha looked on at Piper who was in the window. She wanted a space in the the window but Piper is rude. So instead of giving up in sadness, she decided that biting him on the tail was her next objective. His response was, "ow" and he jumped down, chasing after her. Here's where her smartypants exceeded expectations: She ran past the table, made a sharp left and came back around, and then jumped up into the window sill, leaving Piper in a befuddled mess. Superb.


(Tabitha working the "bag on head" look.)

So Hot

I just wasted half an hour at H&M's website creating this model and laughing hysterically. First I made my model like me, so she has extra weight on her and I "tried on" ugly shirts. Shockingly enough, she looked fat in a lot of them. Then I discovered the jumpsuits. And oh it just went on from there.

This was just about as fun as discovering that "Ana" on the Ikea website doesn't like it when you swear at her. This of course turned into plenty of wasted hours coming up with creative things to say to her.

What can I say, I'm a sucker when it comes to things that will further me in absolutely no way and might just make me late for where I need to be (like right now).

Not that there's anything funny about the Bernard Madoff scandal, but...

I'd like to report that while listening to NPR on my commute home, the radio reporter (is that what they're called?) tried to say that Bernard Madoff was being brought up on fraud charges but instead of saying "Fraud Charges", she said, "Fart Charges" and I almost drove off of the road, I was laughing so hard.

I say "Whee" a lot when I'm driving.

It's a pretty good indication of how I drive.

I went to my parent's house the other day. A couple days before there had been a snow storm in which I made tracks up the driveway once and in the meantime, an ice storm had followed. This left the obnoxiously un-plowed driveway with a car track covered by about 2 inches of ice surrounded by icy snow. Adding insult to injury, the town had plowed about 2 feet of snow into the end of the driveway turning it into a roller coaster. Not easily deterred, I made a go at it, coming in from the right and got stuck in the driveway. Backed up, went forward, stuck. Backed up, went forward, stuck. Repeat far too many times. I had the peddle at full force the throughout all of it causing the engine to rev like it was preparing for a drag race. Snow was kicking up everywhere. I then decided that that if I burned through enough snow using this strategy, I'd be able to make it up the driveway. No dice.

A normal person, at this point, would park the car and walk the 50 feet up the driveway. You'll be shocked to know that I am not a normal person.

I put the car in reverse, shot out of the driveway onto the road, positioned my car dead on so that I'd have a straight path and gunned it like my life was over. As the car careened up the driveway, narrowly missing the fence, it rocketed along the icy path, kicking up what looked like pounds of snow in its wake. Finally, it cleared the house, obviously getting close enough to induce heart attacks, but I had arrived. This is when I saw the squirrels running in terror, literally diving for cover. I opened my door, wafted in the smell of burning tires and stomped to the house muttering, "I'll show YOU what a beetle is capable of doing."

Things that should definitely be left in parking lots...

What is our world coming to???

Revisiting old blogs

I just labeled all my more recent blogs. Maybe grab a couple of random readers. And I revisited "Bubble bubble bubble, bubble bubble bubble" because it makes me laugh every single time. And then I decided to read the comments because I always love to read what stupid things most people say. Actually, I hate reading them, but I'm a glutton for torture. Sooooo, I was perusing and mentally punching people and I came across this joke that I just had to share:

Q. How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Wanna go ride bikes?

If you don't find this funny, go away.

Really, I'm good at this, REALLY!

I wrote this email to a good friend of mine (who's also a dog walking client) after my experience today. I went to meet another client who happens to live 2 doors down from them:

"I'm sure your husband told you about the surprise visit from me, two dogs and [her] daughter. I knocked on their door and two of the dogs barged through the door, went barreling past me across the street and then up the street in on coming traffic (both ways of course, one of them actually stayed stopped in front of a waiting car) and then ran right into your driveway where Digger met them with unbridled excitement and Coco growled and barked at them. To make things even more exciting, [your husband] came outside and one of their dogs ran into your house and ate some of your doggies' food. They had no collars on so catching them from the beginning had been shockingly impossible. I was very happy to meet [your husband], although he probably thinks that I'm an incompetent idiot."

Good times!

Words

Matt and I were driving the other day and I was listing off places that we needed to go to and then I said, "And then we need to go to Hollandaise." Matt looked over at me. I said, "I just really wanted to say Hollandaise." Matt shook his head at me for a while and I laughed for 10 minutes.

It's a really fun word. I highly recommend it.

What?

Yesterday Matt and I went to brunch. Sitting next to us was a family from a foreign country, most likely a slavic one. As they sat there eating their food, an older woman approached them. She leaned in conspiratorially and said, "My husband didn't want me to ask you this, but I'm going to any way. What color is a burp?" They looked somewhat blankly at her and so she repeated it, adding a motion of something being ejected from her mouth. One of them said, "What." "Burple!" And then she cackled happily and walked away while they sat there stunned. The american girl with them, obviously a cousin, explained the joke to them and they all gave their protests of confusion. And she goes, "Well, it isn't funny. That's why." And every one lived happily ever after.

Except for Matt. See, I burp a lot (because I'm a classy lady) and every time I did it yesterday, Matt would say, "Burple." And then he'd sigh in frustration that he couldn't get it out of his head.

Ok, but seriously...

I was away for a week, so I have a real excuse. And tomorrow or Friday, I am going to post a bunch of things. It's gonna HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!

Not much content.

I have 7 million five hundred thousand and eight things to report on but I don't have any time!!!!!!!!!! I have updates on the baby birds, who have flown onto the big world out there (have to have the pictures to discuss, can't upload them here), I have some killer pictures of the kittens at the shelter (see above reason for not posting them now) [obviously "killer" means "awesome", and I hope I didn't have to explain that at all] and what else, just stuff. THINGS!!!!!! I turned 30 last week. Big day. And then next chapter of my life has begun...

Why I love Matt.

So yesterday I sent this photo of Annie and Harold, two kittens at the shelter, to Matt on my cell phone.



I wrote: "She's sticking her tongue out at him! So rude!"

And instead of writing back: "Oh my god, you're an idiot." or "Lame.", he wrote: "That IS very rude." Love.

Baby Bird!!!!!!

This morning, I was getting up and I heard the mama bird outside and went to the window to see what was going on. She was perched on the edge of her nest with an almost whole egg in her mouth. She glanced at me and flew away.

A little while later, I started hearing cheeping sounds and I asked Matt if he could hear them. He said he couldn't, so he decided to go out for a smoke to check it out. Not wanting to miss out on the action, I rushed around getting my camera.

We went outside and she was sitting on the nest, which made me worried and then she got angry and flew away. I knew it was going to happen but couldn't resist seeing a newborn. And there it was! So teeny, sitting next to its sibling who's still unhatched. The eggs had been laid a couple of days apart. So I took a couple of photos. Got the one I wanted and left the area so she could come back (with a little bit of Matt prodding me to go back inside).

So, now as I'm sitting writing this, the window in front of me looks out on the back yard. I can see a bird shooting back and forth. As she goes out of my sight, I'm pretty sure it's her. Possibly, though, it's the male bird that we haven't seen much of but apparently should exist.

SO EXCITING!!!!!!!

Here's a photo of the baby, less than an hour old.

More Animal Entertainment

Here's a picture of Milo with his eyes open! No flash!



Milo and Piper in a grooming sort of a battle:



Tabitha loves boxes. LOVES THEM. Box open, stuff removed, in goes Tabitha. I love this picture. I think it captures the strangeness of her obsession.



This was a photo that infuriated me because my lens (not my regular macro) just WOULD NOT FOCUS. So frustrating. But then Matt pointed out that it shows what they're looking at out the window. Picture saved. I guess.



And exciting news! We have a nest! There was a mommy bird hanging out (I'd hear her coo a lot) and Matt went out onto the back porch one day and said that he discovered eggs in our plant hanger! Not only that, but the mom bird (a dove) (and single mom, apparently), will actually stay on her nest when Matt goes outside to smoke a cigarette. So not only does he have to walk by her to get out onto the porch, but he's 3 feet from her when he's out there! And she stays! She stares at him but doesn't fly away.

Here is a shot of her and a shot of the eggs (she flew away when I was taking pictures. Apparently, Matt is her boyfriend.)





So excited about the babies!!!!!! Future update to come!

Colin Hay

A couple of months ago, Rachel texted me and told me to listen to Colin Hay's song "Maggie". I went to YouTube, searched for it and found a video. I then bookmarked it and never found the time to watch it (lame).

Tonight at the theatre, we had Colin Hay. What a phenomenal show that was!

First off, he played a song at the opening of the show and then talked for a solid 15 minutes. And he was hilarious. And then he started in with the songs. And they got more poignant and sadder. And I kept listening and thinking, This one? Is this the song? It's pretty and it's making me cry! It's got to be! And I'd send off a text to Rachel.

And then he played the first verse of Maggie.

"When I first set eyes on you
First you beat me up then you kissed me too"

And as the chills swept through my body, I knew it was the one. Wow.

Here's the YouTube that I failed to watch:



I recommend not following in my footsteps and instead, watching it toute suite.

The other highlight of my Colin Hay evening was when I was making a kind of subtle but kind of noticeable lighting change and he sort of stopped talking for a second, cocked his head up at the ceiling and said, "Nice lights." I cheered (obviously) and yelled, "Thank you!" and he said, "Nice lights for a singer/song writer." He was clearly used to lights of a different sort. After the show, when I met him, I thanked him for saying something and he thanked me for doing them.

I was talking to his tour manager, Ace (really nice guy) and he said,"You know how many times he's mentioned the lights in the two years I've been with him?"
"Tell me!"
"Never."

When Colin Hay walked back through the theatre to do the meet and greet, I said that it was nice meeting him.

"You too! And tell your friend I say 'hello'"

Rachel, Colin Hay says 'hello'.

Can't Forget!

Didn't want to forget Grady. Much love for this sweetheart.



And I've mentioned Yam. Right?

Cool Cats

I grabbed the camera at the shelter today and went a bit nuts. Here are some of the better shots:

Sneakers


Isabelle


Myra


Miko


Xena


The kittens (these guys are too little to go so I've gotten to spend almost a month with them. They are crazy little creatures.)

Duke


Daphne


Daisy


Some other crazy munchkins:

Moose's mouth


Sarah


I think this is an "all time top ten" picture:

Yam


I love my job. I love love love my job. Rescue animals. Go to a shelter.

Seen in passing.

What's up with the Make A Wish dump trucks that I keep seeing on the highway?

"I wish for a big pile of dirt!"
"Sold!"

Bunny Bunny Bunny Bunny

Not sure why THESE guys were getting thrown out at work:



Too bad the picture doesn't do his belly justice. He's a fat bastard (who's now going to be chewed up by a grey hound).