Things that should definitely be left in parking lots...

What is our world coming to???

Revisiting old blogs

I just labeled all my more recent blogs. Maybe grab a couple of random readers. And I revisited "Bubble bubble bubble, bubble bubble bubble" because it makes me laugh every single time. And then I decided to read the comments because I always love to read what stupid things most people say. Actually, I hate reading them, but I'm a glutton for torture. Sooooo, I was perusing and mentally punching people and I came across this joke that I just had to share:

Q. How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Wanna go ride bikes?

If you don't find this funny, go away.

Really, I'm good at this, REALLY!

I wrote this email to a good friend of mine (who's also a dog walking client) after my experience today. I went to meet another client who happens to live 2 doors down from them:

"I'm sure your husband told you about the surprise visit from me, two dogs and [her] daughter. I knocked on their door and two of the dogs barged through the door, went barreling past me across the street and then up the street in on coming traffic (both ways of course, one of them actually stayed stopped in front of a waiting car) and then ran right into your driveway where Digger met them with unbridled excitement and Coco growled and barked at them. To make things even more exciting, [your husband] came outside and one of their dogs ran into your house and ate some of your doggies' food. They had no collars on so catching them from the beginning had been shockingly impossible. I was very happy to meet [your husband], although he probably thinks that I'm an incompetent idiot."

Good times!

Words

Matt and I were driving the other day and I was listing off places that we needed to go to and then I said, "And then we need to go to Hollandaise." Matt looked over at me. I said, "I just really wanted to say Hollandaise." Matt shook his head at me for a while and I laughed for 10 minutes.

It's a really fun word. I highly recommend it.

What?

Yesterday Matt and I went to brunch. Sitting next to us was a family from a foreign country, most likely a slavic one. As they sat there eating their food, an older woman approached them. She leaned in conspiratorially and said, "My husband didn't want me to ask you this, but I'm going to any way. What color is a burp?" They looked somewhat blankly at her and so she repeated it, adding a motion of something being ejected from her mouth. One of them said, "What." "Burple!" And then she cackled happily and walked away while they sat there stunned. The american girl with them, obviously a cousin, explained the joke to them and they all gave their protests of confusion. And she goes, "Well, it isn't funny. That's why." And every one lived happily ever after.

Except for Matt. See, I burp a lot (because I'm a classy lady) and every time I did it yesterday, Matt would say, "Burple." And then he'd sigh in frustration that he couldn't get it out of his head.

Ok, but seriously...

I was away for a week, so I have a real excuse. And tomorrow or Friday, I am going to post a bunch of things. It's gonna HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!

Not much content.

I have 7 million five hundred thousand and eight things to report on but I don't have any time!!!!!!!!!! I have updates on the baby birds, who have flown onto the big world out there (have to have the pictures to discuss, can't upload them here), I have some killer pictures of the kittens at the shelter (see above reason for not posting them now) [obviously "killer" means "awesome", and I hope I didn't have to explain that at all] and what else, just stuff. THINGS!!!!!! I turned 30 last week. Big day. And then next chapter of my life has begun...

Why I love Matt.

So yesterday I sent this photo of Annie and Harold, two kittens at the shelter, to Matt on my cell phone.



I wrote: "She's sticking her tongue out at him! So rude!"

And instead of writing back: "Oh my god, you're an idiot." or "Lame.", he wrote: "That IS very rude." Love.

Baby Bird!!!!!!

This morning, I was getting up and I heard the mama bird outside and went to the window to see what was going on. She was perched on the edge of her nest with an almost whole egg in her mouth. She glanced at me and flew away.

A little while later, I started hearing cheeping sounds and I asked Matt if he could hear them. He said he couldn't, so he decided to go out for a smoke to check it out. Not wanting to miss out on the action, I rushed around getting my camera.

We went outside and she was sitting on the nest, which made me worried and then she got angry and flew away. I knew it was going to happen but couldn't resist seeing a newborn. And there it was! So teeny, sitting next to its sibling who's still unhatched. The eggs had been laid a couple of days apart. So I took a couple of photos. Got the one I wanted and left the area so she could come back (with a little bit of Matt prodding me to go back inside).

So, now as I'm sitting writing this, the window in front of me looks out on the back yard. I can see a bird shooting back and forth. As she goes out of my sight, I'm pretty sure it's her. Possibly, though, it's the male bird that we haven't seen much of but apparently should exist.

SO EXCITING!!!!!!!

Here's a photo of the baby, less than an hour old.

More Animal Entertainment

Here's a picture of Milo with his eyes open! No flash!



Milo and Piper in a grooming sort of a battle:



Tabitha loves boxes. LOVES THEM. Box open, stuff removed, in goes Tabitha. I love this picture. I think it captures the strangeness of her obsession.



This was a photo that infuriated me because my lens (not my regular macro) just WOULD NOT FOCUS. So frustrating. But then Matt pointed out that it shows what they're looking at out the window. Picture saved. I guess.



And exciting news! We have a nest! There was a mommy bird hanging out (I'd hear her coo a lot) and Matt went out onto the back porch one day and said that he discovered eggs in our plant hanger! Not only that, but the mom bird (a dove) (and single mom, apparently), will actually stay on her nest when Matt goes outside to smoke a cigarette. So not only does he have to walk by her to get out onto the porch, but he's 3 feet from her when he's out there! And she stays! She stares at him but doesn't fly away.

Here is a shot of her and a shot of the eggs (she flew away when I was taking pictures. Apparently, Matt is her boyfriend.)





So excited about the babies!!!!!! Future update to come!

Colin Hay

A couple of months ago, Rachel texted me and told me to listen to Colin Hay's song "Maggie". I went to YouTube, searched for it and found a video. I then bookmarked it and never found the time to watch it (lame).

Tonight at the theatre, we had Colin Hay. What a phenomenal show that was!

First off, he played a song at the opening of the show and then talked for a solid 15 minutes. And he was hilarious. And then he started in with the songs. And they got more poignant and sadder. And I kept listening and thinking, This one? Is this the song? It's pretty and it's making me cry! It's got to be! And I'd send off a text to Rachel.

And then he played the first verse of Maggie.

"When I first set eyes on you
First you beat me up then you kissed me too"

And as the chills swept through my body, I knew it was the one. Wow.

Here's the YouTube that I failed to watch:



I recommend not following in my footsteps and instead, watching it toute suite.

The other highlight of my Colin Hay evening was when I was making a kind of subtle but kind of noticeable lighting change and he sort of stopped talking for a second, cocked his head up at the ceiling and said, "Nice lights." I cheered (obviously) and yelled, "Thank you!" and he said, "Nice lights for a singer/song writer." He was clearly used to lights of a different sort. After the show, when I met him, I thanked him for saying something and he thanked me for doing them.

I was talking to his tour manager, Ace (really nice guy) and he said,"You know how many times he's mentioned the lights in the two years I've been with him?"
"Tell me!"
"Never."

When Colin Hay walked back through the theatre to do the meet and greet, I said that it was nice meeting him.

"You too! And tell your friend I say 'hello'"

Rachel, Colin Hay says 'hello'.

Can't Forget!

Didn't want to forget Grady. Much love for this sweetheart.



And I've mentioned Yam. Right?

Cool Cats

I grabbed the camera at the shelter today and went a bit nuts. Here are some of the better shots:

Sneakers


Isabelle


Myra


Miko


Xena


The kittens (these guys are too little to go so I've gotten to spend almost a month with them. They are crazy little creatures.)

Duke


Daphne


Daisy


Some other crazy munchkins:

Moose's mouth


Sarah


I think this is an "all time top ten" picture:

Yam


I love my job. I love love love my job. Rescue animals. Go to a shelter.

Seen in passing.

What's up with the Make A Wish dump trucks that I keep seeing on the highway?

"I wish for a big pile of dirt!"
"Sold!"

Bunny Bunny Bunny Bunny

Not sure why THESE guys were getting thrown out at work:



Too bad the picture doesn't do his belly justice. He's a fat bastard (who's now going to be chewed up by a grey hound).

Nothing To Report.

Still breathing. Cats are hanging out. Watching Family Guy. 'S about it.

Smooooosh!

This is why I loved Milo when I saw him! He smooshes with other cats and Tabitha even let him!



p.s. He's currently sitting on my lap as I type this (on a lap top that's on said lap, as well).

The Family, It Grows

In my second week of work at the shelter, I adopted a cat. Shocking. They said it was a record. Matt has decreed NO MORE! So, I'm waiting for a house to become the crazy cat lady that lives within. (Just kidding, Matt!!!!!!!!)

I waited a bit in introducing him because Tabitha was having problems adjusting. She was doing a lot of hissing and hitting when I let everybody hang out together. Matt texted me, though, during a show this last weekend and said that Milo licked Tabitha's face and she licked his back. Success!

Here are a couple of snapshots of the new love. (I had to use flash, so they're all with shut-eye.)

Meet Milo

Writing the Report.

I love Blink 182.

Most of the time, when I say this, people scoff at me. Matt is certainly one of those people. I can understand it but I just don't care.

A memorable reaction was when I was talking to some guy in a bar a long time ago about another band that I love, Flogging Molly, and then I mentioned that I loved Blink 182 and he said, "I fucking hate Blink 182" and walked away. I thought it was funny, especially because he was kind of a dork.

Also, years ago, while driving in the city with Kendall and Rachel (on our way to Saturday Night Live, I believe), I somehow got Kendall to play one of their albums. And Kendall says,
"Actually some of their songs are pretty good."
"Actually? All of them."

Some concert memories:

One time, I drove to Long Island to see them at Nassau Coliseum with a (now ex, obviously) boyfriend who got so drunk during the show that he actually PASSED OUT on the people in front of us. Full on fell on them. The poor skinny girl somehow caught him. So embarrassing. And then on the drive home, when I was completely lost and stopped at a gas station, he took the map out of my hand, crumpled it up, and haphazardly tossed it into the back seat. And then had no recollection of what he'd done the next day when I told him the story. I really miss you, Bryan. Call me.

Then there was the concert at Roseland. What a grand evening that was. We all paid $73 for ten dollar tickets. Then when walking (limping in Rachel's case) down to the bathroom, some little emo-ish d-bag in the making decided to grab Rachel's ass when we were walking by. He had no idea what circle of hell he'd just signed up for when Rachel turned around and slapped him in the face and I pegged him against the wall, yelling at him about respecting females. Then there was the guy at the bar complaining about how much he hated the band and how someone had given him a free ticket and how he should have just stayed home and blah blah blah. So I interrupted his diatribe with a heartfelt, "Then why don't you fucking leave!?" And he looked at me like who in the hell are you? Me? I'm the one who paid 7 times the ticket price for mine and am THRILLED to be there, yelling along with every song. Also? I'm the belligerent one who's going to make you wish you hadn't crawled out of your hole to make it to the concert that you didn't want to come to. He left. Shocking. And then we all danced around like fools to all of the songs, loving every minute of it. That concert was so much fun.

And then it started getting lame. Another time, I went to see them at a race track in Massachusetts and everyone there was 13 and they were with their parents. I would so not want to be the parents, horrified at the overly sexual comments that the band members come up with. That was the end of the concerts. And now that they don't exist, there aren't any more anyway.

But I really love the band. Still. I know that they make crappy music. I know that when I go to the bar and one of their songs comes on, every frat boy with a popped collar will start hopping up and down, high fiving their douchy friends.

I recognize their idiocy. As Tom Delong put it on The Mark Tom and Travis Show, "We're professionals. You might not have known that but we are professionals. And what we do is professionally suck and professionally act like a bunch of assholes on stage. That's what we do. We're just as God made us."

How can you not love someone who says that?????

I just simply love listening to them.
I love shouting their music at the top of my lungs in my car.
I love playing albums on repeat. Once is not enough. Hell, twice isn't enough.
I love that half of their lyrics make absolutely no sense. I shout those ones even louder!

There are some lyrics that do make sense though. Some that hit me when I hear them. Some that represent a time in my life and fill that needed spot. Here are a few:

"Here I am. Standing on my own. Not a motion from the telephone. I know not a reason why solitude's a reason to die."
"I'm ripe with things to say. The words rot and fall away. What stupid poem could fix this home? I'd read it every day."
"I never did do anything that she asked. I never let what happened stay in the past. I never did quite understand what she meant. In spite of everything."
"So read my book, with a boring ending. A short story of a lonely guy."

And I simply love everything about Adam's Song.

And honestly? This quote is just pure poetry:

"I'm writing the report on losing and failing. When I move, I'm flailing now."