Right, so now I'm back from St. Bart's with my non-tan. Here are the articles of the day:
Monkey King! (NONE OF THE LINKS WORK IN THIS POST! YAY!)
Who says that old age is boring? Here's a good activity. (apparently the activity involves exercising your mouse finger and coming up empty.)
blawty blah. that's all. ok-bye.

This is absurd on so many levels. (and it's missing.)
And why is there no picture included with this article? (because the article isn't even THERE!)
This is awesome. Wah wah wah, Bush, you gd whiner. "But not if you're gay!" Awesome.
ah la la la. that is all.

Why is it always Jackass that gets the bad rap. Ok, in this instance they were watching it before they did it, but still the kid that got hurt wasn't doing the stunt. Totally uncool.
Red Sox update: Catholics try to ruin one more thing. No GDHDs? F U!
ok-bye

I love this explodingdog picture. (still my favorite ever.)
Tom Jones gives in to ageism. Favorite quote "He told me, 'people aren't taking you seriously any more. You're becoming a caricature of yourself'", because he wasn't one to begin with?
that's all for now. ok-bye

If he can't have his monkeys (and yes, I feel incredibly bad for him and no, the link is not missing, or wait, yes it is), then can I? Best quote from the article: "The monkeys, weighing 1 to 5 pounds and ranging in age from 3 to 9 years old, never caused a big ruckus, except for switching the lights on and off and harassing the cats by pulling their tails."
I knew I left something at that party this weekend. I like how they say they're going to throw it all away later, because that is so going to happen. (not there. but maybe it was FIREWORKS??????????)
From The Onion this week:
"Every Song On Radio Reminds Man Of Red Sox Loss
BOSTON—Every song on the radio reminds Red Sox fan Patrick O'Malley of the team's loss to the New York Yankees in Game 7 of the 2003 American League Championship Series. "'One Call Away' on 94.5 reminded me of how [manager] Grady Little's call kept Pedro Martinez on the mound in the eighth," O'Malley said Monday. "So I flipped over to 97.9, but then Van Halen's 'Poundcake' reminded me of how Yankee batter Aaron Boone pounded Tim Wakefield's knuckleball over the fence." O'Malley then switched to AM radio, where a farm report reminded him of that corndog he threw on the ground when Boone crossed home plate in the game's 11th inning."
And always a favorite onion headline of mine "Non-crime fighting dog takes bite out of couch"
ok-bye

Today sucks. That's about all that I have to share. Yesterday sucked too. This weekend? Not so much with the sucking, or at all, but since it's so long of a story, I'm not sure I have the energy to write out the whole the entry, all I'll say is Beetle Mania, bike enthusiasts - both on the road and on the walls, gay swingers, ufos, broken drinking glasses, retarded cats, "friends of friends", dancing faces off, a-hole cab companies who don't accept CT cell #'s as a way to reach you, midnight sandwiches, and that was only saturday.

Best ADD plug of the day, on one of the match.com-type websites that place plugs throughout other sites, their choice of the day today writes for "Last Great Book I Read: My ADD limits me to magazine articles. What was the question?"
Cops continue to try and get away with everything. (true. but not sure what it was in this instance.)
Old People brawls rule.
Ok, so yea, Janet Jackson's going to show us her boobs again on Saturday night live blah blah blah, but that's not why I am posting this article. Read the second entry. Holy Schnikeys. I'm surprised this guy isn't getting as much publicity for The Movie as Mel Gibson is. What a wack job.
Does this mean that since they bought the rights to this (no idea what "this" is), that I can buy the rights to the words "Oh Canada"?
"Monkey" of the day. (pic missing) Ok, so I realize it's not the cutest monkey, but I have a story about this kind of monkey. When I was in Africa, one of the nights we went around in the cars looking for bushbabies. These things are cool because all you can see is their HUGE eyes reflected in the trees and their bodies are really really small. And so we found a pair of them and were watching them, jumping around and biting each other, this would be my parents, my brother, me, the couple we went with (the smiths) and our guides, Mike and Roy (brothers) and there they are, these two little bushbabies high up in a tree. And someone says, "Oh look, they're playing." and at around the same moment as it dawned on my dad, it dawned on me that wait a minute, no, they weren't "playing" afterall. And he goes, kind of ackwardly, "Uh, I'm not sure that they are playing." and I'm like, just as ackwardly, "Um, yea, I think they might not be.", and we're standing next to each other. Nothing like realizing that you are watching two animals mating while standing there with your parents.
and on that note.....ok-bye

Well, it's tuesday and here we are again. an exciting day for the blog world. actually not too exciting. nothing has really happened. I didn't win the $130 in the company oscar pool, in fact I tied for 2nd to last place (and who said I wasn't hollywood savvy?).
Not that I'm against protecting animals or naked pillow fights for that matter, but when the hell do they have to do with each other? (we'll never know!)
If you like drinking tap water, buy Dasani .
limericks , I mean, nursery rhymes, I mean, hmmmm. And also, could somebody tell me what the f a "football song" is? (apparently, no one will know.)
I'd like to point out that this went on for 90 minutes before they stopped it. (I sure would like to know what "this" is.)
They're smiling!
ok-bye

I'm so f-ing lazy and tired today. first I slept through my alarm and woke up 15 minutes before the last peak hour train left. So I missed that train, had to run to the 9:30 (an hour later and I was STILL late), got to the train, wanted a nice cold beverage (would have killed for a nice cold beer) and realized that I didn't bring my wallet with me in my haste of running around the house trying to dress, making sure I had everything I need to stay over in the city at Kendall's and tripping over my cat, Truffles. So then, I got on the train, decided I wanted to sleep and sort of contorted my body into an odd shape and drifted off for 30 seconds, then in Rowayton, there must have been 40 highschool kids that got on my train car and one screaming baby, by this time I was taking up two seats, no way was I going to be stuck next to a highpitched highschool girl yelling about her hair. so I believe I made it two stops before I was rudley awakened by some a-hole saying Excuse Me and then he made a motion with his fingers like lift up. I just about killed him. So there went a peaceful train ride. Although one of the highschool girls did try to catch her balance when she was talking to her friend and instead went crashing into the doors which was highly entertaining. So I got to work at 11, and left to grab lunch at 1 and while I was in the deli, there was a woman who was sampling her food before weighing it and she got reprimanded by an employee and it started off innocently enough, and ended (well, I techinically didn't see the end but) with her saying "Oh go hang yourself" in a really strong new york accent. "What are you the police?" Awesome. They were so yelling at each other. I think he even made her give him a dime for the bite of food that she ate. And since then I have played minesweeper and lost three times, then hearts which just really confuses me, but I lost that enough to quit, and now I'm playing solitaire. Tonight, I'm going to Kendall's new apartment. Highly exciting as he has bought a case of wine, 4 or so cases of beer, and has every liquor imaginable in a full bottle, plus he's making killer margaritas and invited all his friends in the area. So, I'm sure tomorrow will consist of me finding new uses for the trash can at my desk. I'm too lazy to look for articles at the moment.
Monkey (s) of the day.
ok-bye

Ok, yesterday was probably the busiest day on EARTH for me. I'm sure that there are people out there who had busier days, but screw them! just kidding. I'm searching around for articles right now.
I definitely want to try this. (link missing. I know you're shocked.)
this is way too freaking funny. (this used to have a funny thing on it but now it doesn't.)
That's all for right now. ok-bye

monkeys are monday's theme (ok, and tuesday and all the rest of them):
the monkey's in his pants.
bad monkeys (missing monkeys)
monkeys vs. shakespeare
by the way, my birthday is June 4th.

here are some articles to read today:
ah yes, the things we do for beer. (apparently, we learn new languages.)
monkey of the day.

ok, so I've added a couple of new links to the side bar, including my boys of blink, ani, Get Fuzzy (immediately in fact. . . Why are you still reading this?), The Onion (obviously). Oh, and FYI, the wakeboarding link (thanks Kendall) if you click on where it says, Devon, you can watch me fall on a wakeboard... over and over again. Or where I tried to jump over the wake, which to me felt like I was flying like 80 feet in the air, and if you aren't looking closely enough on the video, you'll actually probably miss it. I also highly reccommend watching my brother and his friends do stuff because they are better than I am. And you can see Kendall fall on his head while attempting freaking FLIPS. insanity.
Other than that, today is going to be another insane one in the old pub (man, I wish that meant what I want it to) office. but I got a new computer so that's exciting. ah, the things that make me happy. and lunch is coming up soon. hopefully.

oops
what I tried to say was that I want to be a monkey, but apparently no such monkey exists. huh. but anyway, it's true. I want to be one. ok-bye

Why does squawkbox hate me? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Alright, I just added a "SquawkBox". Thanx again go out to Candi (Where's the heart when I need it?). So talk back to me. In fact, I'd prefer it if you yell, because I enjoy yelling things.

I stand corrected, Candice.

Today, it is Wednesday, and that's just about all the exciting news that I have for you. I need a theme for this mo-fo. theme theme theme.
Everyone in the world should go see In America. It was such an incredibly heart-breaking film. And so good. And wow. Go see it.
ok-bye

Today is thursday, although for some frustrating reason it feels like friday. I would so love to sleep in tomorrow morning but that is not going to happen. and that's my story.

ok so it's been about three minutes since I last posted. about two million things have happened since then. I finished stuffing my face with pizza and that's pretty much it.
so I'm really excited about this concept. And I'd like to thank Candace for directing me to her blog through her signature on the email and then I of course clicked the button and here I am. I can be Dave Barry TOO!
ok. enough with the riff-raff. will talk soon.